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Monday, May 9, 2011

Understanding sources of support in living

Understanding sources of support in living

Instructions: men and women in Christianity have found sources of support and encouragement form many different avenues. In the list below, circle the number opposite each item to indicate the relative level of support you currently receive from that source.

After completing all items add up the total for the numbers circled.

Source of Support Very Helpful No help Does not apply

Lay leaders of church 4 3 2 1 0
Friends within your church 4 3 2 1 0
Friends outside church 4 3 2 1 0
Your spouse/fiance(e) 4 3 2 1 0
Other 'helping professions (doctors) 4 3 2 1 0
Family members other than spouse 4 3 2 1 0
Small groups 4 3 2 1 0
Prayer group 4 3 2 1 0
Spiritual director/guide/counselor 4 3 2 1 0
Personal devotions (e.g. Bible reading) 4 3 2 1 0
Prayer partner 4 3 2 1 0
Church and its Ministers 4 3 2 1 0
Special Groups (Encounter/Marriage) 4 3 2 1 0
Retreats/Rallies/Revivals 4 3 2 1 0

Date: Your total score (items 1-14):

If another source of support is especially important for you, write in in at (15) and indicate the level of help:

15. 4 3 2 1 0

* Which of the above 14 or 15 sources of support is currently most important for you? #

Interpretation of scores:
0 - 30 Relatively low support experienced
31 - 46 Moderate level of support
47 - 66 Relatively high support experienced

Additional Comments:

Individual Reflection:

Having completed the above exercise, look back over the list, especially your top three sources of support and encouragement.

Give each of the top three a 'mark out of 10', according to how you would rate their effectiveness for you at present. For example, a small group may in fact be your Number One source of support, but you would rate the group as falling far short of what you need from the group as a source of support in your leadership, and personal encouragement (perhaps a 'mark' of 5 out of 10).
a.
b.
c.
Reflect on what would have to happen for your top three sources of support to become more effective in this role they have for you.
a.
b.
c.
Reflect on what your dependence on these major sources of support does to them; does their support of you have a significant impact on their time, their emotional energy, their availability to help others?
Do you support the people you've listed? Is it one-way or two-way?
In what ways can you grasp new opportunities to support others; in what ways do you need to improve your capacity to care for others - whether they are your 'friends and supporters' or not?
List some individuals whom you can commit yourself to start encouraging in some practical ways; pray for them and yourself in this coming new relationship.
Do you need to seek a greater range, or deeper level of support for yourself? Why? In what areas of your life do you feel this need most? How open are you, really, to receiving 'feedback' on your 'strengths' and your 'work areas'? Jot down your thoughts on these issues.
One way of discussing the type of support evaluated in the section above is to speak of the roles that other people have for us as comforter, clarifier, and confronter. Marian Coger cites these in 'Women in Parish Ministry: Stress and Support', following the work of Carol Pierce. A comforter holds us, affirms us, and lets us know that our being is loved and accepted, even if our doing is unacceptable; a clarifier puts information together, helps us sort out what is relevant and what is not, and brings new light to situations we find ourselves in - they help us sort out how we are 'coming over' and what we seem to be 'on about' in our public roles of leadership; a confronter gives us constructive criticism in a way which we are able to hear and work on. Because they care about the outcome of your life, confronters can challenge us, without forcing us to become defensive. We need all three, sometimes separately, sometimes in relation to the same complex issue in leadership. And we have the potential of fulfilling at least on of the three roles for others around us - they also need all three.