Welcome to Quality of Life Blog - a place to learn how to live as a Christian

Everything from trusting God to how to pray.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Prayer diary

Mary Magdalene, in a dramatic 19th-century pop...Image via WikipediaThe Prayer diary
You may call to mind spiritual journals such as St. Augustine's Confessions and others. Such journals, and our own more meager experiences, make it clear that God's guidance in our lives is seen mainly in retrospect. How important it is then, to maintain some kind of record of our more significant questions, prayers, changes of directions, joys and hurts, as we reflect on this God-given life. Both the actual writing of diary entries, and the scanning back over entries for past months or years, have the effect of clarifying feelings and the meaning of experiences. More important, they foster a meditative perspective on such every-day questions as:

•Is this what God would have me do at this time?

•How clear am I about my motives in wanting something?

•What has been the outcome of my encouragement to individuals?

•Where is God in all this conflict in my life?

•Are my 'experiments' with spiritual actions bearing fruit? What does God seem to be saying to us in the responses to these times?

•What are the pressures that have distracted my good intentions?

•What was that idea that popped into my mind as I came home today?

Even brief journal entries permit a longer perspective and a thoughtful and prayerful consideration of the twists and turns of life's path. They help to make it clear where God's guidance or promptings have, or have not, been present. They should not drive us to quit and 'trying harder' (salvation by works), but rather to a greater honesty with ourselves, and a greater openness to alternative paths the Spirit might have for us. They help us keep track of our outer and inner life and their inter-connections.

Some suggestions

1.Buy a strong exercise book, memo book or one of the slimmer bound journals - large enough for ease of writing or sketching, but not too bulky to take on your holidays or to retreats. Some people prefer blank pages, others prefer lined pages.

2.Consider how you want to sub-divide the use of the journal. One method is to use the front of the book for your thought life - recording events and thoughts, and your prayerful reflections on these and turning the book upside down and using the back of the book for your unconscious life - recording and commenting on dreams, visions, the disturbing thoughts that bubble up now and them, and the substance of and answers to prayers.

3.Confidentiality: because a journal contains highly personal thoughts of the writer, and sometimes prayers for or thoughts about others, it is best not to leave it lying around where others may be tempted to pick it up and browse through it. As a matter of principle, your journal is 'for your eyes only'; it is even worth using a private shorthand or code for names and particular events to retain confidentiality. Anything that will encourage you to write down and subsequently reflect upon your innermost thoughts.

4.Number the pages and date all entries in the journal, fore ease of cross-reference and the better understanding of changes over time. If away from home, also indicate your location, so that it is possible to relate your outer journeys to your inner ones.

5.Frequency of entries; some 'religiously' make daily entries, others weekly, and others only when particular events or experiences (a dream, illness, conflict, decisions, etc.) seem to require a special focus on movements in your relationships with God. It should be used as frequently as seems necessary to stimulate and encourage growth in your inner life - and most of us need that very frequently rather than occasionally. Discipline is necessary, as in all areas of significance in our lives.

6.Opening entry: when first starting a journal, it is helpful to write down why you are doing this, what prompted you to start, what you hope for in the exercise, your hesitations about the exercise, and some kind of commitment such as 'daily entries for one month' or 'at least weekly entries for six months''. Hopefully such trial periods will demonstrate the ongoing value of journal keeping.

7.Decide on or experiment with the best time of the day or night for writing and reflection. Early morning, a midday break, or late evening before going to bed, all have their advantages, depending on the rhythms of our lives. Find a time and place that suits you best.

8.Commence by becoming still and quiet in a comfortable but not to relaxing position. Be still, and listen to outer sounds for several minutes; then seek to still your inner thoughts and the busyness of your mind. Praying the Lord's Prayer, or other prayers, help focus attention on the Lord to whom we wish to attend in journal writing. Breathing steadily but quietly, consciously letting go of muscular tensions, or changing posture to lessen pressures on the body - these are all conducive to the stillness and inner attentiveness that are necessary.

9.Pray quite specifically along lines such as the following: 'Lord, I want this time to be profitable in my relationship with you. Help me to put aside my fears and hesitations; help me to deal with distracting thoughts as they bubble up; help me to attend to the movements of my spiritual program, and to your plan, signposts, redirections and warning along the way. I come to find out more about your love for me and for those I love and serve in your name'.

10.Consider including in your journal:

•significant joys and hurts of the day

•quotations from people, or readings that have struck you - stimulating thoughts, challenging ideas, sayings that demand further reflections

•a list of those people or situations you pray for and the answers you seek with the eye of faith

•experiences or thoughts that disturb you, as you grapple with their meaning

•a list of people you need to reach out to, keep in touch with, or have some special responsibility for

•your own 'poetry of the spirit', the ways you seek to verbalize the peaks and valleys, of your journey with God.

What about starting a journal now?
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Friday, April 29, 2011

A personal growth plan
This exercise hopefully grows out of the previous review of your 'Spiritual program' but it requires more specific thought and analysis than 'Just participating in the program.' Allow forty to sixty minutes. Again, you may return to it several times as promptings of the Spirit encourage you to reach for a new and still-unfolding vision of Christian life.

You may already have a personal 'dream' or 'vision' for your place in life, your vocation, or your family or community. or you may be moving towards much more personal changes in your own priorities, values or life-style. While others may be involved with you, in what follows, give major attention only to yourself, your own individual hopes, aspirations and definite intentions for change in your own life.

A 'personal Growth Plan' is a way of defining your forward thinking and hopes for the program on which you have already embarked. It is an opportunity to review the directions you might take, the tasks, opportunities and experiences you might pursue, the guides and companions you might seek out. Most important of all, it involves a radical openness to your Lord's companionship on the journey, and a resolve to seek and receive the Spirit's counsel, comfort, and direction. It is to be sought in prayerful humility, and celebrated with joy and confidence.

The chart below contains a minimal framework for you to start on; it may be expanded as much as you need to cover other areas or more specific aspects of your life which you are bringing under review. You may start on any area of life, but be both as realistic and as comprehensive as you can. Completing part or all of the chart is a useless exercise unless you approach it prayerfully, honestly, and intentionally - that is, you intend to pursue it to the best of your ability.

The underlying questions are:

•'Lord, what do you want of me, to what are you calling me as a result of this time of reflection and re-evaluation?'

•'Where do you want me to be in these different areas of my life, in three months, six months or a year's time?'

•Where would you have me look for insight, resources, companions, for this next stage of my training program from you?

•You may like to reflect prayerfully on Ephesians 4:7, 11-13, as a lead-in to completing the chart. Note down here your preliminary thoughts:
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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Life Planning Questions

Christ of St John of the CrossImage by OwenBlacker via FlickrLife Planning Questions
We are now moving out of the realm of interpretation and into the realm of application, and that is personal business. No longer is our primary question "What does God say?" We must now concentrate on the question, "What does God say to me?" As you know, we have been working on this second question all along, but it now becomes the center of our attention.

We will be dealing with the difficulty of being in the world without being of it.

We must stress the quality of life above the quantity of life. We must not define life in terms of having rather than being.

We must learn the wonderful truth that to increase the quality of life means to decrease material desire; not vice versa. Listen instead to the life-giving words of St. John of the Cross, "Let your soul turn always not to desire the more, but the less." Richard E. Byrd recorded in his journal after months alone in the barren Arctic: "I am learning...that a man can live profoundly without masses of things."

Turn your back on all high pressure competitive situations that make climbing the ladder the central focus. The fruit of the Spirit is not push, drive, climb, grasp, and trample. Don't let the rat-racing world keep you on its treadmill. There is a legitimate place for blood, sweat, and tears; but it should have its roots in doing your best where God placed you. Life should be directed toward reaching your graduation.

Never put happiness as your focus of life. It is the by-product of being a Child of God, not the chief end.

"To have what we want is riches, but to be able to do without is power" (George MacDonald).

Clement of Alexandria counseled that the servant of God should never attempt to work out his salvation alone, but rather should seek advice of a spiritual director (trainer).

Choose someone with whom you can share intimately, someone wise in the things of the Spirit - a person able to speak the word of Truth with tenderness. Seek his or her counsel and advice. Share your spiritual goals. Be open, listening, teachable. If he or she detects in you a spiritual problem and share with you, do not become defensive. Listen eagerly to these words of life. You desperately need this help.

Find new creative ways to get in touch with God. Enjoy in the infinite colors around you. Listen to the birds. Walk whenever you can. Enjoy the texture of grass and leaves.

Learn to enjoy things without owning them. If we own it we feel that we can control it, it becomes very important.
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Kingdom of God and His justice:

Front cover of a modern edition.Image via WikipediaThe Kingdom of God and His justice:

1.Read Revelation 11;15 (Lasts/Does not last)?

2.Romans 14:17 (Satisfies/Does not satisfy)?

3.John 3:3 (Changes the heart/Does not save the soul)?

4.1 Peter 1:9 (Saves the soul/Does not save the soul)?

The underlying sin of materialism is that it tries to make men's condition better by changing the environment in which men live without.

On the other hand, the Kingdom of God solves man's problems by changing the heart of man first and then by changing the environment with help.

Too often the members of the kingdom of God have taken the attitude that the government ought to take care of the physical needs of people while we "save their souls." Now that you know what kind of justice the kingdom of God offers to men, what do you think about this? Should your congregation be doing anything to make the physical life of people any better?

You know the story of Peter, the first sailor. Let me tell you about the second, whose name was John.

In his early twenties, he made his way to Africa, where he became intrigued with the lucrative slave trade. At age twenty-one, he made his living on the Greyhound, a slave ship crossing the Atlantic Ocean.

John ridiculed the moral and poked fun at the religious. He even made jokes about a book that would eventually help reshape his life: The Imitation of Christ. In fact, he was degrading that book a few hours before his ship sailed into an angry storm.

That night the waves pummeled the Greyhound....

John worked at the pumps all night. Finally , when his hopes were more battered than the vessel, he threw himself on the salt-water-soaked deck and pleaded, “If this will not do, then Lord have mercy on us all.”

John didn’t deserve mercy, but he received it. The Greyhound and her crew survived.

John never forgot God’s mercy shown on that tempestuous day in the roaring Atlantic. He returned to England where he became a prolific composer.

You’ve sing his songs, like this one:

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound.

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now I see.

This slave-trader-turned-songwriter was John Newton.

Along with his hymn writing, he also became a powerful pulpiteer. For nearly fifty years, he filled pulpits and churches with the story of the Savior who meets you and me in the storm.

(From In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado)


The Lord hears our prayers and shows great mercy. Take the troubles you face today and wrap them in prayer: “Lord have mercy and teach me to see your way through the storm.”

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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Materialism

Stained glass panel in the transept of St. Joh...Image via WikipediaMaterialism
Jesus was tempted to take the easy way out and offer material benefits to everyone who would follow him. He didn't do this because he knew the defects of materialism, instead he took the way of sacrifice and the cross.

Read Matthew 25:34-40

In this passage of scripture, Jesus speaks of the kingdom of God and the righteousness of its members. How did the righteous act toward those who were:

1.hungry?

2.thirsty?

3.strangers?

4.needing clothes?

5.sick?

6.imprisoned?

Read Matthew 25:41-46

Can anyone who does not show this kind of righteousness enter into the kingdom of God? (Yes/No)

All members of Jesus' kingdom ought to seek to show justice just as their Master did (Luke 4:18, 6:20, 7:22, 14:13-14).

Read Luke 7:22 once again. In this verse we see Jesus caring for both

In the human kingdom, materialism feeds hatred and strife between men in different social classes because it only seeks justice for man's bodily needs. In the kingdom of God things are different. The members of the kingdom care for the whole man, body and soul. For this reason the Kingdom of God reaches out in love for those who are poor (Luke 8:43-44) and those who are rich without exception (Luke 8:41-42).

Read Matthew 6:33 once again

The kingdom begins within the person, with the kingdom of Christ in the heart. The kingdom of God cares about both, but beginning with a change in man's heart and then extending justice to all men as it also improves the environment.
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Monday, April 25, 2011

Consider

Greek icon of the Twelve Apostles (in the fron...Image via WikipediaConsider
One gets a good feel for what the Christian life is all about by reading the Epistle to the Philippians. Not that Paul set out to write a letter that would define the nature of the Christian life. In fact, Philippians is a rather chatty letter to Christian friends in the church there. Paul shares with them what has been happening in his life. He is under house arrest, chained 24 hours a day to a Roman soldier. He is awaiting Caesar's verdict (concerning his appeal made during the temple riot in Jerusalem). It does not look too good for Paul. There is a chance that the verdict will not be positive, and that he will be executed. he thanks the Philippians for their gift to him. He reports on the health of their fellow church member Epaphroditus. And so on. Paul shares all this news and more with his friends. he does have a few words to say to two of the women who hold leadership roles in the church - Euodia and Syntyche. They need to stop their feuding. But mostly, Paul reflects on what it has meant for him to be a follower of Jesus.

Perhaps this is why Paul's witness to the power of a Christian lifestyle is so moving: it is indirect. He is not arguing a case or making a point. His testimony emerges indirectly and therefore rings of authenticity. What we see in the Epistle to the Philippians is the shape and texture of the life of a mature Christian. it is, therefore, a model for us of what the Christian life is all about. What we see in Paul is the real thing. This is what it means to be a Christian.

It is to this sort of lifestyle that the Twelve Steps points us too. This has been quite clear in our examination of the Twelve Steps. An addiction-free lifestyle is a Christian lifestyle. The Twelve Steps get us started in the right direction. Now it is up to us to keep on in this way. The passage you should read and study at this point is Philippians 3:12-14; 4:4-9 identifies for us what it means to live like a Christian.

What is Paul's goal in life (3:12-14)? How would you describe what Paul wants to obtain?

Why do you suppose that Paul emphasizes "pressing on" and "straining toward" in 3:12-14?

In 4:4-9, what are the attitudes that enable people to cope successfully in difficult times? Which of these attitudes are of special significance to recovering addicts? Why?

"An addiction-free lifestyle is a Christian lifestyle." In what ways have you found this to be true?

Share one significant outcome for you as a result of studying these subjects.

We cannot ever say, "I am completely free of all addictive behavior." What we have begun in the Twelve Step program we must continue to follow. It really is "one day at a time." On the other hand, it is well within our reach to live whole, happy, productive lives beyond the grip of addiction. And we will do so if we trust God and live in his way, in the company of his people who are walking this pilgrim way. This being the case, it is important to think carefully about what we will do now, at this point in this discussion. What is the next step for you?

What makes life worth living?

What brings you joy at this moment in your life? Share how it does?

In what ways are you seeking to make these thoughts part of your life?

End by praying, asking God to help you take the next step required of you. Also pray for people you are trying to help.
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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Step Eleven also calls us to meditation.

Dore Bible Sermon on the MountImage via WikipediaStep Eleven also calls us to meditation. If prayer is speaking to God, meditation is listening to God. This involves:

Bible study.
The Bible is God's word. In it we find his will and his way, and we discover who he is. If we will let it, the Bible will function as a mirror for us, allowing us to see our behavior for what it is, and giving us a guide to evaluate what we are (or are not) doing.

Reflection.
This is a matter of listening. It will involve a quieting down, an offering of our life to God's control, a mulling over of issues, an alertness to new insights.

Meditation exercises.
There is no one way to meditate. Repeating the Jesus prayer ("Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy"), imagining that we are there during an event from the Bible (e.g., sitting at Jesus' feet and hearing him give the Sermon on the Mount), mulling over a phrase from Scripture (e.g., "My peace I give to you" John 14:27), reflecting on creation (e.g., letting the beauty of a flower draw us to God), or sitting in silence all qualify as meditation. Different people will find that certain styles of meditation suit them best.

Richard Foster writes: "Often meditation will yield insights that are deeply practical, almost mundane. Instruction will come on how to relate to your wife or husband, or how to deal with this sensitive problem or that business situation. It is wonderful when a particular meditation leads to ecstasy, but it far more common to be given guidance in dealing with ordinary human problems. Meditation sends us into our ordinary world with greater perspective and balance."

Prayer and meditation allow us to become better acquainted with the God to whom we have given our lives.

Witnessing
Step Twelve urges us to tell our story to others. This is, in fact, what takes place at Twelve Step meetings. Various people share publicly what has happened to them. often it is as a result of hearing the stories of others that people come to realize what is going on in their own lives, that they can get help with their problem, and that they need to take Step One. Thus they start on the road to recovery.

Telling our stories is called witnessing in the New Testament. This is how the church has spread throughout history: Christians tell others the story of Jesus and how they came to know him. Sharing with others about our addiction and how we have begun to recover from it gives us a natural opportunity to talk about God. After all, our recovery has its roots in the power of God and in coming to know God through Jesus Christ. In order to witness in this way, we will need to overcome our natural reticence to talk about faith issues. We do this when we come to realize how needy all people are. They may not necessarily be involved in addictive behavior, but they are still in need of God's love, forgiveness, and grace (because they, too, are human beings and are therefore sinful). You owe it to your friends to be open and candid about your spiritual journey.
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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Spot-Check Inventory:

Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber ...Image via WikipediaSpot-Check Inventory:
Spot-checking is the process of stopping a few times each day and asking ourselves how it is going. We think about what we have thought, done, and felt; we are alert to any warning signs of trouble. We watch for the presence of temptation, unsettled emotions, unhealthy thoughts, troubling encounters with others, etc. We check to see if we are slipping into old, destructive patterns.

Daily Inventory:
This is a daily review of what happened and how we dealt with it. We need to stay in touch with our successes and our failures. Where there is failure, we need to assess why and take the appropriate action.

Long-term Periodic Inventory:
This may take the form of a day-long retreat once a year, or a few uninterrupted hours once a month. Our aim is to notice the patterns that have come to characterize our lives.

Journal Keeping:
There is a long tradition in the Christian church of keeping spiritual journals. Such journals are used for reflection and much more. Journals have proved to be a valuable tool for spiritual growth for countless people.

No matter what form our self-inventory may take, the important thing is to stay in touch with what is happening in our lives. In the past we have not done this. We have lived in a fog of denial. We can't afford to do this again if we are to maintain a healthy lifestyle. In the past, we allowed little problems to build up until they were big problems. By means of regular inventory, we prevent this from happening in the future.

It may be more helpful for us, where possible, to do this sort of reflection in the company of others:

Spiritual Direction:
Meet regularly with a Spiritual Director. This is a person who is trained in theology and psychology, and who can help us grow as Christians. If we cannot find a trained spiritual director, we can meet with a mature Christian friend who will hold us accountable for our spiritual growth.

Support Groups:
A small group can provide an excellent place in which to share and support one another as we struggle to live an addiction-free Christian life.

Doing regular self-inventories may seem like a lot of work, but as Veronica Ray puts it: "If this introspection sounds like too much trouble, remember that our lives depend on it."

Prayer and Meditation
Step Eleven urges us to pray. Once we are connected to God by means of repentance and faith in Jesus, we need to maintain that contact. We know now that we cannot make it on our own. Willpower is not enough. We need the direction and power of God. Staying free from addictive behavior is a day-by-day matter. Just as we needed God to begin the whole process of recovery, we also need him to sustain that process. We really cannot make it on our own. In the words of Step Eleven, we need "to improve our conscious contact with God." This is what prayer is all about.

But prayer is not just a means to an end (staying addiction-free). Once launched into the way of Christ, there is a longing to deepen our contact with God. The problem is that prayer is so mysterious and unfamiliar to most of us. We pray, but it is sporadic: when we are in church, at times of crisis, or when we think of it (which is not too often). What we need is to learn how to make prayer a regular practice.

There are many ways to pray. This is a subject that we have covered in past subjects and will cover in future subjects. However, without any instruction, all of us can simply talk to God. We can tell him what is happening to us, where we struggle, why we hurt, how much we love him, what we would like to see changed. We really can talk to God. He is alive. He is personal. And he is powerful. We have experienced his power in freeing us from our addiction. We want to continue on a daily basis to stay in touch with this source of love and power.

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Friday, April 22, 2011

Objective

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...Image via WikipediaObjective
•To explore Steps Ten through Twelve in order to understand the role of reflection, prayer, and witnessing in living an addiction-free lifestyle.
•To reflect on how well we are doing in following the Twelve Steps.
•To discuss a passage from Philippians in which Paul models for us what the Christian life is all about.
Consider
Step Ten:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Step Eleven:
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.

Step Twelve:
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

Steps Ten through Twelve describe how to live a life that is free from addiction. If Steps One through Nine describe how we can free ourselves from the power of an addiction, then Steps Ten through Twelve tell us how to maintain an addiction-free lifestyle. The activities identified in these final three steps are not strange. They are familiar New Testament practices. Step Ten calls us to daily reflection and repentance. Step Eleven urges us to daily prayer and meditation. And Step Twelve calls us to share with others the story of our spiritual awakening, its impact on our addiction (witnessing), and to continue to live our lives on the basis of the Twelve Step principles.

Reflection
Step Ten describes the kind of ongoing vigilance we are called upon to display as Christians. It has been said that the unexamined life is not worth living (Socrates). And indeed, as followers of Jesus, we are called upon to pay attention to how we live. We know that our natural, unaided tendency is toward selfishness and self-destructive behavior. This is just what being a human being is all about. The aim of daily reflection is to prevent ourselves from being caught by these negative patterns.

At the heart of the reflection process is the inventory. Making an inventory is a familiar practice by now. We did this in Steps Four and Eight. There are various ways to undertake Step Ten inventories:
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Consider

The Faith, sculpted in stone from Badajoz in 1...Image via WikipediaConsider
We all know from experience that it is one thing to make a New Year's resolution and it is quite another to keep it. A little reflection tells us why this is so: it is much easier to think about doing something than to do it. It takes time, effort, and perseverance to translate a mental decision (I'll stop smoking") into a consistent behavior ("I don't smoke any more").

Repentance is a mental response. It is saying, "I don't want to live in this anti-God way any longer." It is deciding to change. But deciding is not enough. This is why the New Testament couples faith with repentance. Repentance is choosing a new direction. But faith makes it possible to go in that new direction. Repentance says: "I want to leave this addiction behind." Faith reaches out to God to make this decision possible. Step Six is followed by Step Seven.

We are all aware that faith is a central theme in the New Testament. But we probably are not aware that repentance is, too. In fact, Jesus spoke more often about repentance than he did about faith.

Paul, on the other hand, referred sparingly to repentance. In fact, he used the word only three times in his letters. However, in one of these passages (2 Corinthians 7, the text which we will study), his discussion of repentance is so lucid that one commentator (Bishop Moule) considers it to be the best description of repentance in all of Scripture.

The background of this passage is important. Paul had a rather tumultuous relationship with the Corinthians church. During his first visit to Corinth, he founded the church. However, after he left the city, he heard that the new Christians there were engaged in a variety of activities that were clearly outside the bounds of the gospel. They had split into warring factions, they were really confused about sexuality, they were taking each other to court, and so on. So he wrote a letter to them (1 Corinthians), challenging them about what was going on in the church. In that letter, Paul promised to return to visit them again (1 Co 16:1-9). His return visit, however, proved extremely painful (because of the conflict he had with a false apostle who had begun teaching in Corinth). What really disturbed Paul was that the Corinthian Christians did not rally to support him in this conflict.

It is unclear exactly what took place next, but it seems that Paul sent various letters in order to correct the situation. We read in 2 Corinthians that Paul was anxiously awaiting news as to whether the problem in Corinth had finally been resolved. He was so concerned about the situation that he left Troas and took a boat across to Macedonia to be nearer to Corinth (and thus to receive news that much sooner). In the passage we will study, Paul reports on the news Titus brought from Corinth.

Read 2 Corinthians 7:5-13.
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Close up of an 17th-century depiction of the 2...Image via WikipediaRepentance
What we are called upon to do in Steps Six through Nine is something called "repentance." Repentance is not a word most of us are very familiar with. Nor is it a word we especially like when we do not know what it means. Repentance smacks of sawdust trails, tears of confession, or men in white robes carrying signs urging repentance before the world ends. It is a pity that such a significant New Testament word has been corrupted over time in how it is understood. At its heart, the word repentance is neither archaic, cultic, nor emotional. It simply defines an attitude that is vital to the process of growth.

To repent is to change our minds about how we are living. Specifically, it is to decide not to live in a way that takes us away from God, but to turn around and start living God's way. Repentance emerges out of insight. We can't repent unless we see what is going on in our life. Before we can change our minds about what we are doing, we have to see that what we have been doing is wrong. Before we can change our ideas, we need to understand how they are in error. Repentance cannot happen without insight.

Once we clearly see the issue, we can then decide how to deal with it. We have two choices. We can decide to carry on in the way we have been going. In this case, we decide not to change. Or we can decide to turn around from the old, destructive way and start following the new, constructive way. The decision to turn away from the old towards the new is what is called repentance. It is the decision to change.

While it is true that repentance is a cognitive decision (deciding to change), it is also true that this decision must be given expression in our lives. This is where Steps Eight and Nine come in. They show us how to act upon our decision to repent. These steps ask us to make our repentance real in the world of our relationships.

Like most of the other steps we need to undertake, we take Steps Six through Nine not just once but continuously. We keep seeing "defects of character" that need changing, we keep reaching out to God to change us, and we keep making amends to people we have hurt. Repentance needs to become a style of life, not merely a single action.
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Restitution/Reconciliation

Restitution/Reconciliation
Our part in the change process comes in Steps Eight and Nine, when we actually make amends for what we have done. These two steps are not easy. As Philip St. Romain said of Step Nine: "There is little disagreement among Twelve-Step program members that this is both the most difficult and the most cleansing Step of all." Our inclination is let the past stay in the past. And yet, without accepting responsibility for what we have done, it is difficult to move on to the future. In the past, we blamed others for our misfortune. In these steps, we accept responsibility for who we are and what we have done.

Our Step Four inventory gives us the basis for our Step Eight list. We review our inventory to identify those we have harmed. "There are countless ways we may have harmed others: lying, cheating, ingratitude, anger, criticism, rudeness, gossip, sexual infidelity, or selfishness." Some of the people we have harmed may feel bitter toward us and resist our attempts at restitution. This is, unfortunately, part of the pain we must bear.

We make amends in various ways. In some cases, we make amends by changing our behavior: we stop doing one thing and start doing another. In most cases, we need to make direct contact with those we have harmed and seek to repair the damage we have done. This may involve an apology, repayment of a debt, or an act of kindness toward the other person.

In certain situations, to seek to make amends will only make a bad situation worse. Rhilip St. Romain has good advice to offer:

Ask yourself two questions to help you determine whether apology or amends are in order: Will an apology help me to grow in relationship with this person? and Will my apology help the person and/or others in question more than it will hurt them? If you can answer an unequivocal "Yes" to both questions, then you need to begin planning your reconciliatory approach; if you answer "No" to both, then let the matter die. If you are not sure about either, then talk it out with someone until you are sure.... "While we may be quite willing to reveal the very worst, we must be sure to remember that we cannot buy our own peace of mind at the expense of others." This is excellent advice coming from AA.... There is a difference between prudent silence and evasion; in the former, the good of the other is at stake, in the latter, only selfishness.

In undertaking Step Nine:

•Approach the other person with a loving attitude.
•Be willing to accept the consequences of your actions.
•Think through beforehand what you want to say and do.
•Keep it simple and direct.
•Don't blame the other person.
•Don't go into this with any expectations about how the other person should respond to you.
•Remember that this is all about YOUR part in the situation, not the other person's We can surely find fault in others, but in Step Nine we deal with our issues, not theirs.
•To offer an apology is one thing, to change the offending behavior is even better.
•Pray that God will guide you.
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Monday, April 18, 2011

Bit by bit.
For some people, shortcomings are dealt with slowly , bit by-bit, over time. For others, the craving just vanishes, and then each day they reaffirm that they choose not to indulge in this activity anymore. Still others find that it is through the help of the community (small groups, therapy, counseling, concerned friends) that God deals with their shortcomings. God will remove our shortcomings if we ask, but we must be content to rest in the mystery of how he will answer this prayer.

Gerald May tells the story of a middle-aged man, a lawyer who was addicted to a particular sexual relationship.

He had long been attracted to a coworker, and, as they worked closely together on an extended project, they fell in love. He kept it all secret from his wife, and he hated the deceit of it, but his lover mad him feel "like I was really alive and free for the first time in years." At first it did not seem like an addiction at all, though he could hardly think of anything but her. It was, at first, a real romance. He met his lover once a week; he brought her gifts; she listened to the yearnings of his heart. As time went on, however, he began to feel compelled by the relationship. He craved his weekly fix of self-esteem and sexual release, but he felt depressed after each encounter. There were times when he didn't even want to go but somehow felt he had to. His lover sensed this, and their relationship became turbulent. Countless times they resolved to end the affair, only to wind up back in each other's arms. They sincerely tried to stay apart, but they failed. He prayed for forgiveness and release, but nothing seemed to happen. He became increasingly fearful that his wife would find out or that his lover would become vengeful. He saw a therapist, and he shared his secret with a trusted friend. Neither could help him change his behavior, but they did help him realize that he was more compelled than in love. As time passed, his work suffered. He and his lover talked for hours trying to find a resolution. Then one day he said to her, "This is the last time I'll be here." "I know," she answered. It was. Afterward, he said, "I just didn't go see her again, that's all. It was hard; I would think of her and wonder about her and remember the times we'd had. But I also knew I was worth more than that, and so was she. I just didn't go back."

Dr. May speaks of this as "deliverance": "A particular eruption of grace strikes into a person's life like a lightning bolt of loving energy; the power of God's goodness shines in victory over a particular human enslavement or misfortune. The energy is weakened; the person is empowered.... Without any evident reason, the weight of an addiction is lifted." This is how grace operates. It is not of us; its origin is beyond us. It is "an obvious intervention by the hand of God in which physical structure and function are changed and growth toward wholeness is enabled." It is a gift from God; it is the power of God. We are changed by grace.

The lawyer has found himself attracted to many other women in the years since his affair, but he deals with his attractions quickly and simply. "I start to think about what it would be like with a certain woman, and then I recognize the pattern. I don't fight the fantasy off; I don't try to put it out of my mind. I just don't indulge in it, and it goes away. For a while, I thought I could enjoy the fantasies without acting on them. But it was not sufficient to do that. So I simply notice them and let them pass of their own accord. It's like getting rid of any alley cat. You don't have to kick it; just don't feed it" He says he enjoys the company of women more than ever "now that they are people, not objects."

There is a mystery to grace. We do not control it. While it is true that we are called upon to wrestle with our addiction and to open ourselves to the power of God, it is also true that there is no predictable connection between our efforts and God's grace. Grace just comes. This is all one can say. Grace cannot be predicted nor controlled; it is not manipulated nor deserved. All we can do is open ourselves to God. God will be God, and he acts as he wills.
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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Objectives:

John the Baptist preaching repentance - polych...Image via WikipediaObjectives:
•To explore the Sixth through Ninth Steps in order to understand the process of repentance.
•To reflect on the grace of God and how it affects us.
•To discuss the biblical view of repentance.
Steps:
•Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
•Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
•Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
•Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Attachments
Steps Six and Seven can be very hard for us to undertake. We are now asked to give up behaviors that have long dominated our lives. We can see how destructive these behaviors have been. But still, when it comes to letting them go, all sorts of resistance sets in. We discover how attached we are to these behaviors; we find how much we need them.

Nevertheless, we cannot skip Steps Six and Seven. We must:

•Be specific in naming our shortcomings.
•Desire that they be removed by God.
•Recognize that we will continue to face temptation.
•Recognize that we will never be free from sin. No one is: no one can be.
•Recognize that certain traits may not be removed, but rather, transformed. (For example, the strong sexual drive of sex addicts may remain, but now their expression is transformed.)
•Believe that God can remove our shortcomings, over time, in his own way.
And so we ask God remove our shortcomings? This is what we decide we want him to do in Step Six and ask him to do in Step Seven. We know that God does answer Step Seven prayers (as the testimony of countless people confirms). But we also know that this does not happen magically, automatically, instantaneously, or predictably. We acknowledge that God works in his own way, in his own time, and for our benefit. What we don't know is how he will act.
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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Consider

Triumph of Faith over Idolatry, by Jean-Baptis...Image via WikipediaConsider
The Second Step identifies the nature of our response to the Higher Power. We are called upon to believe that such a Power can restore us to a healthy life. But what exactly does this mean? How do we believe? What does it mean to believe?

This is not easy to answer, because the verb "to believe" and the related noun "faith" have many meanings in our culture:

•Belief is thought of primarily as a cognitive exercise. It is what we do with our minds. "Yes," we say, "I believe that such-and-so is true." Such a statement, however, does not necessitate any action or feeling on our part. It is merely a matter of mental assent.
•Faith is thought of in strictly religious terms. It is what religious people have. What such people believe in - according to our culture - may or may not be true. Who can tell?
•Faith is sometimes taken to mean "believing what we know is not true." Faith, in this sense, is equivalent to wishful thinking.
•Some people seem to feel that the stronger a person believes in something, the more likely it is to be true.
None of these cultural meanings capture how the Bible defines faith. Faith in the New Testament is much more dynamic concept, encompassing not only what we hold to be true but how we act as a result of that conviction. The Bible says:

•the fact that we have faith is demonstrated not by what we say, but by what we do (jas 2:14-26).
•faith is not merely believing a set of data. Even the demons are said to believe in the existence of God, but that makes no difference to them (jas 2:19).
•what we hold to be true DOES matter, however. Faith is believing on the sufficiency of the evidence. New Testament faith is never blind faith. Faith is only as valid as the person or thing in which it is placed.
•faith must have an object. It is not FAITH in general that is commended, but faith in Jesus.
•faith is equivalent to trust. To have faith in Jesus is to trust Jesus with your life.
Read Romans 10:8-15. In this account, we see the role of faith in the process of reaching out to know Jesus.

Three times this passage refers to the condition of being "saved." According to these verses, we are:

•Saved by what process?
•Saved from what?
Which of the following do people commonly associate with "being saved" (ever though the New Testament never says that this is the case)?

1.having faith in a God we don't really believe exists
2.joining a church and adopting its faith
3.doing more good with your life than bad
4.really, really, really, really believing it's true.
5.believing that everybody is automatically saved by Jesus being their savior, so why be concerned?
6.just believing in Jesus.
In everyday language, what does a person have to think, believe, feel, or do in order to be "saved"?

What impact does committing one's life to Jesus as Lord of their life, have on addictive behavior.
In what ways (if any) have you experienced Jesus as a Higher Power for you?

For you, how is what you believe related to what you say publicly ('confess with your mouth")? Explain.
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Friday, April 15, 2011

Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

St Matthew and the angelImage via WikipediaCome to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Objective:
•To explore the Second Step in order to understand who the Higher Power is, and what role faith plays in meeting him.
•To reflect on our views of God.
•To discuss the biblical view of faith.
Step Two:
Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

A Higher Power
In Step Two, we are introduced to the fact that the Twelve Step program is spiritual in nature. Step Two speaks of "a Power greater than ourselves." Step Three asks us to turn our lives over to "God as we understand him." Steps Five and Six direct us to admit our wrongs to God and ask him to deal with our character defects. It is clear that to recover from our addictive behavior, we need to be in touch with God.

Right from the beginning Alcoholics Anonymous (who created the Twelve Steps) stated the spiritual nature of this program. In the so-called Big Book of AA it says:

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.

Lack of power, that was our dilemma, We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.

Of course, the centrality of God to the Twelve Steps raises problems for some. They ask, "Does this mean that Twelve Step programs aren't open to those who are agnostics or atheists?" AA has been sensitive to this question. While steadfastly maintaining that to recover a person needs to find a spiritual basis for life, AA also states: "When ... we speak to you of God, we mean 'your own conception of God.'" This phrase has been interpreted in interesting ways:

•"Your 'Higher Power' can be whatever suits you - nature, science, the AA group - why I have one friend in AA whose first higher power was a Fifth Avenue bus that almost knocked him down. he stayed sober, and gradually his ideas began to change. By its general permissiveness concerning theology, AA is able to help countless alcoholics whose prejudices against overt religion would keep them from identifying with a more orthodox approach."
•"The Twelve Steps is a spiritual program, not a religious one. When we talk about spirituality, we are talking about the spirit of life. This spirit is made up of the force that makes life happen together with our belief in its power. For religious people, this life force may be God. For people who do not have traditional religious beliefs, it may not be."
•The Higher Power has been conceived of in a variety of ways: some consider the Twelve Step group as their Higher Power. Others consider a mountain or a river as their Higher Power. John Bradshaw tells of a man who made an oak tree his Higher Power. (He came to the meeting one day and reported that they had cut down his Higher Power!)
It is true that not everyone believes in God. And of those who believe in God, not everyone puts God at the center of his or her life. Still, it can be argued that all people follow some sot of "Higher Power" whether they know it or not. This "Higher Power" serves as their "god," in that it determines what they choose (i.e., how they spend their time, what they pursue in life, etc.) These "gods" have many names: money, power, love, a cult leader, truth, addictions. Some of these higher powers are positive in that they bring good and promote wholeness (e.g., serving the needs of the poor, the pursuit of truth, love of a person, commitment to planetary wholeness). Other higher powers are negative, in that they move people toward that which is evil and promotes destruction (e.g., alcohol, sex for it own sake, the love of power, the need to possess). However, all these lesser "gods" - be they good or bad - are defective in the end because people were meant to worship and serve the one true and living God. It is from this God who promotes our wholeness and the wholeness of the world.

Therefore, the nature of the Higher Power to whom you commit your life is an important issue. It stands to reason that to be in touch with the Living God (who created the universe and all that is in it) is substantially different than committing oneself to a figment of the imagination or to a pretend-power (like the Fifth Avenue bus). In fact, research has shown that there is a connection between length of sobriety and relative orthodoxy of theology. Those who believe in a God who is real, who cares for them, and who can be known, tend to remain free from their addiction.

Still the point remains: lots of people who are not even vaguely religious are helped by the Twelve Steps. How can this be? Doesn't it matter whether the "Power greater than ourselves" is real or not? Can this Higher Power be anything we choose to give that name?

The fact is that God helps all who call upon him, even when they do so in vague, non-specific, half-believed terms. Theologians speak of this as "common grace." This is the power and presence of God which floods the world. St. Matthew puts it this way: "He [God] causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Mt 5:45).

But there is a world of difference between being the recipient of God's grace and building a life around a relationship to God. There is a world of difference between committing ourselves to a vague principle, an amorphous life force, or a spiritual philosophy and coming to know the Living God in a vital, relational way. This is the difference between believing something and knowing someone. Commitment to a moral principle - eve a true principle - can do no more than give us a pattern by which we shape our lives. We can have no relationship with a principle except to believe it. Furthermore, the principle itself has no inherent power. By itself it can't change us. We change ourselves in accord with how well we conform to the principle. But to be committed to a person is to enter into an unfolding, dynamic relationship that engages not only our mind (belief) but also our will, affections, and actions. Furthermore, if the one to whom we are committed is God, we touch his enormous power and are changed by it. It is not up to us alone; God empowers us.
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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Read Romans 7:14-25

Christ Handing the Keys to St. Peter by Pietro...Image via WikipediaRead Romans 7:14-25
In the first step, we admit our powerlessness over our addiction. How does Paul do that in this passage?

What does Paul mean when he says, "it is sin living in me" (vv. 17, 20)

Define what you think about "sin"?

From your experience, are Paul's words here an accurate description of human nature? Why or why not?

Paul is able to admit that he has a sinful nature. Why is it, then, that Christians sometimes find it so hard to "own" their own sin (or addiction)?

What are some of the ways that you have denied your problems in the past?

Illustrate from your own experience what Paul means when he says, "What I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.."

In what ways has Christ been a source of hope for you in dealing with your struggle (see verse 25), or how could he bring such hope?

Close with a time of prayer for the needs that have been expressed in this discussion.
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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Jesus is

Jesus with children, early 1900s Bible illustr...Image via WikipediaJesus is
All this would be dark and dreadful news to us, except that the Bible goes on to say that help is here and available.  Sin is not the final word.  Jesus is.  He is the stronger power.  (We will discuss this in future subjects.)

However, for this wonderful news to be experienced, we must reach out and accept it to be true.  We must confess our sins (and sinfulness) to God and ask his forgiveness.  We must ask Jesus to become the LORD of our lives, the one to whom we give our lives in obedience.  But we won't reach out to God unless we see a need to do so.  We can't open ourselves to the life of Jesus unless we face openly the reality of sin to which our addiction points.  We will not ask for the resurrection power Jesus offers unless we "own" our problem.

And yet we tend to deny our problem.  This is true even of Christians who, of all people, ought to be able to confess their sin to God.  And yet, at times, it seems that it is hardest for Christians to admit they have an addiction problem.  Part of the problem is a defective theology of sin.  Some Christians feel that having once admitted to God that they were lost and sinful (and that they had been following their own ways and not God's ways), that this takes care of the problem.  Thereafter they live decent and honest lives.  They may not be perfect, but they are good.  Therefore, to admit that they are in the grip of addictive or compulsive behavior seems a betrayal of their Christian commitment.  To be a Christian and a sexaholic, for example, seems a contradiction in terms.  So it becomes very hard for them to admit their problem.  "Christians aren't supposed to live that way.  What will my friends think?"  As a consequence, they pretend that all is well.  Their religious commitment encourages this denial.

But this is bad theology.  The Bible clearly teaches that all people are always sinners.  The Christian is different only in that he or she has recognized the problem of sin and is seeking to live a new way by the grace of God.  But to live that new way requires that we stay honest about our behavior and that we continue to offer our sins to God for forgiveness.

In the passage we are going to study from Romans, Paul reflects on the agony of simultaneously finding great delight in the law of God, while being drawn to the evil which he does not want to do.  Paul knew from his experience what it was like to be controlled by forces over which he seemed powerless .
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

human condition.

human condition.
Addictions confront us head-on with the human condition.  Addicted people know what it means to will one thing and yet do another.  They know what it means to fail.  They know what it means to betray trust.  Their experience of addictive behavior helps them to understand what the Bible means when it says that we are a fallen people living on a fallen planet.  They know, in other words what the word "sin" means as a description of the human condition.

The Bible declares that all people are, by nature, sinful.  When we hear the word sin we tend to think of gross misdeeds committed by certifiable felons.  In fact, the word sin describes a far wider range of thoughts and behaviors than crimes against society.  Sin is the word that describes the fact that at times we all do what we know is wrong and that we often fail to do what we know to be right.  But sin is more than what what we do or think.  Sin is a state of being.  Sin grips and binds us; it makes us less than what we want to be (and are called to be by God).  In its essence, sin is rebellion against God.  The consequence of sin is that all people are alienated from God.  They are lost and alone in the universe and, without outside intervention, the path they walk leads to personal disintegration and destruction.  All this, the Bible says, is the result of sin.

This may sound very "theoretical," but when in the grip of addictive behavior, no one has to convince us that the biblical view of human personality is accurate.  We know what it means to be under the control of an alien power (as we wage war internally between not giving in and giving in - knowing that mostly we give in).  We experience the feeling of lostness (as our addictive behavior creates barriers between us and all we care about).  We experience our powerlessness to change and our need for help from a superior power.  Addictive behavior is a window for us to see the fact that our natures are flawed, fallen, and in need of reconstruction.

In fact, some authors feel that addiction is an appropriate term to use when defining the biblical concept of sin.  For example, Keith Miller states:

It is the thesis of this book that this blinding self-absorption called Sin - however well it may be disguised by our civilized exteriors - is the same elusive underlying dynamic as that in the life of the traditional chemical addict.  Sin is the driving dynamic that leads addicts to fasten upon an addictive chemical or behavior that promises to fulfill their self-centered and often grandoise dreams and to blot out the feelings that threaten to overwhelm them.  Sin is the universal addiction to self that develops when individuals put themselves in the center of their personal world in a way that leads to abuse of others and self.
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Monday, April 11, 2011

The Price of Addiction

1820 engraving from LOC, out of copyright due ...Image via WikipediaThe Price of Addiction
Sondra is not going to be able to deal with her drinking problem until she admits that she has a drinking problem.  She may not be able to admit her problem until she sees how powerless she is over alcohol.  But admitting powerlessness is very hard.  Most of us are dragged kicking and screaming to this point.  In Alcoholics Anonymous, it used to be said that a person could not get well until he or she "hit bottom."   This meant that when your wife left you because of your drinking, when your boss fired you (because you had lost the ability to concentrate on your work), and when you woke up one day in a detox center (and couldn't remember how you got there), then you might finally admit you had a alcohol problem and needed help.  This is what Step One means when it says, "our lives had become unmanageable."

The hope is, of course, that a person's life does not need to get to this stage before he or she is willing to start dealing with the problem.  Our aim is to recognize the little signs, the things that are going wrong, the preoccupation with an activity, the need to cover up, and say before life gets out of hand, "I've got a problem."

What Step One is all about is "confession."  It is saying, "Yup, that's me.  I've got a problem and it's a big one."  And this is tough.  Who wants to admit to being a drug addict, a food junkie, a sexaholic, or an uncontrollable shopper? "Me?  No, I can't be like that..."  And yet there is no alternative.  If we can't take Step One, we can't get well.

But once taken, a person will have started on the path to recovery.  At AA meetings, when people get up to tell their stories, they begin by saying: "My name is ____.  I'm an alcoholic."  The Twelve Steps to wholeness begin when we can say: "My name is ____ and I am addicted to _____."

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Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Power of Naming

The Power of Naming

What is your addiction of choice?  It is very important to identify what it is, because if you can't name your addiction, you can't get well.  This is foundational to the whole Twelve Step program.  This really is Step One.

But this sort of "naming" is very hard.  Who wants to admit to being controlled by food, sex, cocaine, or even jogging?  We feel that to admit we've got a problem is to admit failure.  We feel that it means losing face; it means giving up our illusions of control.  It means opening up the floodgates of bad feelings (like shame, humiliation, worthlessness, etc.).

So we deny that we have a problem.  Denial is the refusal to admit we are in trouble.  Denial is a form of delusion, since one is literally out of touch with reality.  Denial is saying everything is okay when clearly it is not.  Denial is blocking out the negative consequences resulting from the addiction: relationships in disarray, career in trouble, financial stress, health problems.  Denial prevents the addicted person from getting help.

Denial, as it turns out, is one of the characteristics of true addiction.  This is why it is so hard to shake loose from addictive behavior.  Inherent in the problem itself is the inability to accept that there is a problem!  Furthermore, addicted persons really believe they are telling the truth when they deny that they have a problem.

How does a person identify whether an activity (or substance) has become addictive?  Where does one get accurate insight into one's situation?

Experience: our life is such a mess we no longer can deny our problem.
Intuition: in our quiet, reflective moments, we sense that life is getting out of control.  As Ray Hoskins states: "The fact that you have ever felt a need to control a behavior in and of itself is the best indicator that you have an addiction going or developing."
Friends and Family: they stop making excuses for us; instead, they intervene in our destructive behavior and drag us to a Twelve Step meeting.
Small Groups: our caring friends gently confront us with what we can't see about ourselves.
Personal Stories: we hear recovering addicts tell their stories and discover that they are talking about us.
Therapy: we go because of one problem and discover that addiction is our root problem.
Scripture: it acts like a blazing light to us, revealing our true condition.
Grace: we are suddenly confronted with an overwhelming sense of who we are and what we have become, so we cry out for help.
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Friday, April 8, 2011

A Supermarket of Addictions

Brunswick Church (Presbyterian), known locally...Image via WikipediaA Supermarket of Addictions
Objective:
To explore the First Step in order to understand why we need to name our addiction in order to begin the process of recovery.
To consider how denial operates.
To discuss the biblical view of human personality.
A Supermarket of Addictions
It was alcohol that proved the undoing of Bill W. and Dr. Bob.  It is out of their struggle with drinking that they developed the Twelve Steps.  Thus it is that in Step One, the whole process of recovery begins with the admission that one is "powerless over alcohol."  You can't get well if you don't know your disease.

But it is not only alcohol to which people can be addicted.  Consider the following::

The large sales of the book Women Who Love Too Much indicate thataddiction to relationships is widespread.  In her book, Robin Norwood describes women who are involved - over and over again - with men who are either afraid of intimacy, are addicted themselves, or are already married (or otherwise unavailable).
There are 12 million compulsive gamblers in America.  Some 50 million people (spouses, children) are affected by this compulsive gambling.  The suicide rate for compulsive gamblers is twenty times higher than the national average, and they have 38 percent more stress-related cardiovascular problems.
Americans consume over 60 percent of the world's illicit drugs.  Six million people use cocaine regularly.  Some $150 billion is spent each year on cocaine.  6,000 people die each year from illegal drugs.  Five to ten million people abuse prescription medications such as sleeping pills, pep pills, and tranquilizers.
Compulsive shopping is a growing problem.  In a recent poll, high school girls ranked shopping as their favorite past time (dating was ranked number six).  Our consumer debt has doubled.  Lest than half of what is bought is used to replace worn-out items.
An estimated ten to eleven million Americans are said to be addicted to religion.  "Unlike others with spiritual or religious interests religion junkies use their church or cult activities not so much for spiritual growth and devotion but as a way to compulsively structure and control their lives - often because they feel out of control if they don't"
Addictive behavior is not just a private misery.  It is estimated that every addict directly affects at least ten other people.
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